It’s a worthwhile inquiry.  Here’s the thing–are we assuming that the client is actually ‘in’ his or her (or ‘their’) shoes?  Are they really in contact with their own experience or are they in contact with something else?  We can look at this question from our own perspective.  What is the experience of ‘filling out’ your shoes?  What do you know about having real contact with yourself?

Embodiment work is all about developing the intelligence of contact, deep contact, with self.   We’ll explore this in the Feb. 18 Deep Coaching Bookclub call 11:30 a.m.-12:30 pm PT,  which is free to everyone who has a copy of my Deep Coaching book and is in the bookclub.  Would love to have you!  Become a member the Bookclub or register for the call at www.lifewisecoaching.com.

As the world continues to change dramatically, growth-oriented professionals are being asked to be clearer, more grounded, more-intune with their client’s inner world and reality while staying grounded in the ability to be a Fair Witness and truthful guide.

Who Becomes a Deep Coaching Practitioner?

The Deep Coaching Program attracts coaches from many specialty niches, therapists, spiritual guides, HR and OD consultants, body/energy workers–any professional with a growth-oriented practice.  Common factors among those attracted are the deep desire to bring awakening into the world and a love of working with the Enneagram.

If you have a calling to “bring your greatest joy to meet the world’s great hunger” (F. Buechner),  this may be the perfect ‘professional home’  for you.

Fall Course Offerings

We have an amazing line-up of offerings for Fall, 09:

* The Deep Coaching Practice Circle (for those who have taken foundation Enneagram coaching classes) starts Aug. 25

* The Foundation Deep Coaching Telecourse Series with founding teacher Roxanne Howe-Murphy begins Sept. 1

* The Deep Leadership Coaching Practice Circle with Belinda Gore (for those with foundation Enneagram coaching courses) begins Sept. 3.

* Know Your Instincts–a brand new telecourse open to all interested in personal and professional growthwork-with Roxanne Howe-Murphy begins Sept. 10

* Deep Coaching Retreat: A Living Experience of the Enneagram with Roxanne Howe-Murphy and Belinda Gore will be held Oct. 18-22.

For more information on the program, go to: http://lifewisecoaching.com/deep-coaching-certification/

Classes start soon!  Register Now!

Experience the Hallmarks of Deep Coaching!  Depth, Presence, Real Change, Liberation!

Each course in this program contributes to integrating and embodying Deep Coaching principles and builds on your use of Deep Coaching Models; approaches the use of the Enneagram from a different perspective, each offering deepening levels of clarity, insight, knowledge, confidence and appreciation that comes with this potent body of wisdom.

We were attending the really sweet and beautiful wedding of a amazing couple getting married in their 30’s and who have dedicated their lives thus far to working in refugee areas around the world–Darfur and violence-torn areas in Africa, for example.  She is a member of our extended family who has long held a special place in our lives.   This wedding was one of those pure experiences–no drama, no big underlying family dynamics, but an honest simplicity in which everyone was made to feel comfortable and welcomed.   Though a modest size wedding of around 100, there were guests from around the world.  Joy and love were palpable.

After the ceremony and dinner, celebratory dancing got under way and I could sense the deep connections that people were experiencing.  All of a sudden, the music stopped!  Someone is down.  It was a deeply loved man, the step-father of the bride.  Within seconds, she (a nurse) in her bridal dress and another person were working on him, doing  CPR with his heart and through mouth-to-mouth.  No breath.  No pulse.  Unconscious.  Loved ones in the room, of course, were in shock, tears and witnessing a scene that seemed from another place and time.  Paramedics eventually arrived, and after some time, regained a pulse.  Some of us gathered in the local hospital’s emergency waiting room.

After a long night and morning, the step-dad regained consciousness, and it looks like there is no permanent damage. It seems we have a miracle.  Had this happened to him when he was by himself on his boat, or driving in a car, or on a ladder working on his house, the ending would have been quite different.  Rather, it happened when all those he most loves and who most love him were right there. Isn’t that interesting?!

That night, Love wore many faces and was experienced and expressed under paradoxical, almost unimaginable circumstances that were juxtaposed in such as way that is inescapable.  The paradox is always here–this one happened to be magnified a hundred-fold.  This is the way paradox works– it smashes any preconception about how “it” is supposed to work.

The sharing of this experience from people from many areas around the globe will be rippling out for sometime to come.  None of us will ever be the same.  Life is not what we think–it is itself.  We need to pay close attention.

The thread that ran through it all was Love.

I’ve been very interested in paradoxes for a long time.  Do you have an experience to share?  If so, I’d love to hear from you.

Blessings,

Roxanne

One of the  Deep Coaching course members intimately shared that over the course of the last 2 months, she has begun discovering the “subtleties” of  her personality patterns.  She mused that while we might read about Enneagram patterns  and be able to identify them at a more obvious level, that there’s a much greater depth and realness experienced  when we allow ourselves to come into contact with the ’sneaky’ ways that the patterns creep into the cells of everyday life.  They do so often, but especially when ‘no one is watching.’

But she noticed the patterns when they were trying to sneak past her awareness!  She was so aware that she could see the workings of certain patterns and she could experience them WHILE they were happening.   This gave her the capacity to not let them become too ‘real.   She let them be patterns rather than “just who she is,” which helped her release some aspect of her old story about herself.  We should note that in this process of being aware, but not getting too involved with a pattern, the very nature of  Awareness begins reducing the power of the patterns themselves.  This is an extraordinary movement toward awakening.

For her, the recognition of the subtleties of the patterns and the shift in her relationship to the patterns (and thus, to herself) led her to say “Oh, I think this is what Deep Coaching is about.:  I think she would have added, “at least at this stage in my understanding”

All of us involved in the Deep Coaching movement using the Enneagram are committed to awakening–to our own journey of real awakening; and to be of service to others who would like support on their journeys.  This, afterall, is not a ’solo’ trip.  We need each other to help us see what we can’t see in ourselves and to remind each other of the magnificence of our Essential Nature.   In this community of seekers,  our  shared impetus can more easily move through the inertia that would otherwise sidetrack us when we are on our own(as it has many times).

While I wrote the book, Deep Coaching,: Using the Enneagram as a Catalyst for Profound Change, none of us (including me) can yet realize the full meaning, direction or impact of what it means to be a Deep Coach.  I believe that  the ‘deep coaching process” will continue unfolding and teaching us with each moment of conscious awareness and presence for which we show up.

If you’d like to join us for this amazing adventure of awakening from a grounded, practical, yet far-reaching perspective, and deepen your learning about the Enneagram has to teach, we’d love to have you.  A good place to start is with the next Deep Coaching Teleconference Series starting in September.  Check it out at www.lifewisecoaching.com/certification-program/

Blessings, Roxanne

Earlier this year, I recently received a letter from my friend, Mel Duncan, co-founder and Executive Director of the Nonviolent Peaceforce, (www.nonviolentpeaceforce.org). This organization trains unarmed civilians in nonviolent strategies and sends them (by invitation) to violence-prone areas around the world. The NP volunteers help to protect human rights, deter violence and support local peace-keepers in creating peaceful communities. Mel was recently named one of the 50 non-profit visionaries making a difference in the world by Utne Magazine!One comment in his letter particularly struck me. Mel spoke about the one element that makes all the difference in the ability of the NP civilians to be effective in some of the most potentially violent situations in the world. That element is Presence. Presence creates the grounding, the space, the realness that allows significant changes to be made even in the midst of the most volatile of situations. It allows one to be responsive rather than reactive, and bring an indominatable sense of strength, not over, but strength in oneself. Presence saves lives!

Could anything be more profound and more important in this time of uncertainty and extraordinary change?  If Presence can make such an substantial difference in potentially explosive, violence-prone situations, what might it offer to you?  to your interactions with your loved ones?  with your friends and co-workers?

In a recent teleconference call that Enneagram Deep Coaching faculty member, Belinda Gore, and I were holding with Deep Coaching trainees, the discussion turned to how Presence saves emotional and spiritual lives, as well. Every moment we return to the present and experience what is truly here, make decisions and respond from what is available to us Here and Now (rather from our past conditioning), it frees us. It saves us.

As we enter this new time, I invite you to reflect on how the moments of Presence in your own life have saved something precious within you and have blessed your life.  The uncertainty, stress and discomfort of life can be tempered and balanced by remembering to come back into contact with what is real, what is enduring and what is–Here Now.

Roxanne

Join my colleague and I for the exploration of the relationship of personality and essence in your life.  Discover what it means to experience a grounded, real spirituality in your day-to-day existence.

The Wisdom of the Enneagram:

The Joyful Experience of An Awakening Life

May 16-18, 2009

Mercy Center, Burlingame, California

Beyond the study of personality types, the Enneagram is a powerful tool for supporting the work of awakening to our Essential Nature. This introduction to the psycho-spiritual approach to the Enneagram will enable you to “remember” aspects of your true self, and will help you to more rapidly recognize the “wake up calls” in your life that you can use to move toward higher levels of health and wholeness.

• Discover each type’s higher nature, healing attitudes and specific tools for transformation
• Learn how to observe and release your more troublesome habits and reactions
• Experience ways to unhook from inner dynamics that hinder your happiness
• Cultivate more awareness, conscious choice & intention in your everyday life
• Understand how to use the Enneagram for your continued spiritual growth

For more information, visit the Wisdom of the Enneagram Retreat page on my website.

Roxanne

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“Living mythcally means making choices from a position of your true self, of Essence self, rather than solely from your ego.”

I recently reread this passage from a book published more than 15 years ago (Mayan Oracle by A. Apilsbury and M Bryner, 1992), and it deeply touched me.   The specific approach to awakening taken in the book is specific to Mayan wisdom , but the message itself  has reverberated across all bodies of spiritual wisdom for thousands of years right up to the current moment.  It reminded me once again that different forms of wisdom have been trying to reach us, touch our hearts, our innate intelligence,  and speak to our spirits for a very long time.

We cannot escape that we are going through times of turbulent change, environmentally, financially, politically… in every aspect of life.   This change is not unexpected, even though it can feel very surprising to us as it happens.  There are many ancient sources of information (including from but not limited to the Mayans) that have predicted a transformational shift in society.   And there is abundant evidence that this change is getting the attention of alot of people.  Humanity is experiencing an awakening of consciousness that is profound.  There is great hope.

With the old models of living based on dualistic thinking (mine or theirs;  mind or body; black or white; peace or war;  the list of examples would fill hundreds of pages) no longer able to address the big issues facing us, and with new ways of Being coming into heightened awareness,  it is clear that we are at a crucial decision-point in our collective and individual lives. And we have to start here–with self. “What decisions will I make?”  How am I going to let myself be touched by the great arising of awareness?  “Where will I choose to stand–in ego or in True, Essential nature?  What story do I wish to live–my ego’s story or the  newstory based on the ground of Being and my connection to All?

Never before have we had such an opportunity to be a part of the great unfolding of awareness.  We have access to the way into this unfolding, we have access to the bodies of wisdom, we have the tools that we need.  And we have friends on the path.  What a magnificent time to be alive!

Blessings, Roxanne

Miracles take many forms.  One kind of  ’miracle’ is the otherwise ‘unexplainable’ situation in which just the right person shows up at exactly the right time under just the perfect conditions.  That is  synchronicity.  It’s also miraculous.  It’s particularly powerful when all of the data from the media to the comments and descriptions made by authorities or others  ’in the know’ indicate that ’something cannot happen.  It’s not happening for other people; it won’t happen for you.’   In other words, you might hear “Just get real.”   You probably have had an experience in your own life where something miraculous happened for you when it ‘appeared’ that all odds were against it.   These are times to celebrate and remember!

Another miracle that I see happening more frequently is when someone takes responsibility for his or her own part of a difficult situation; looks it squarely in the face with curiosity and no self-rejection, and lets go of something.  That something could be an “idea” about someone else, or resistance to the situation at hand, or even a very subtle, energetic pattern that probably isn’t obvious at first glance.  Taking responsibility (very different than blaming self or others) and allowing for an internal shift often results in a healthy change in that difficult situation.  Often, the ‘other person’ seems to change, as well.

And another miracle comes with moment-to-moment awareness of whatever is here now.  The flight of a bird, the movement of a blade of grass (even a weed), the challenge of a particular task, the sound of the child, the face of a significant other or friend.  It sounds so corny in a way, but the truth is that when we show up in the world, we are graced with the experience of so much aliveness, so much richness, that it can be almost more than we can take.   It is everywhere–this beauty–if I only can show up for it in whatever form it appears.

I don’t want to be anyplace else.  I don’t want to miss any more moments of Real Life, of all the aliveness that is here in this world.  While I’m here, Divine Spirit, let me really be here.

I’ve spent years exploring the personality, coaching, teaching and being an observer of the human experience, and have discovered that there is a part in each of us  that can be very sneaky in creating ways to ‘try’ to get away from ourselves.   Of course, that’s the nature of the ego.  It is conditioned to take us away from ourselves, from our deepest truth.  (This is not about making the ‘ego’ bad–we will always have one.  The problem is when it ‘has me’ rather than me having it!)

Depending upon our Enneagram personality configuration,  for example, we might spend our lives being on the go, and not staying with any one experience for any length of time.  Perhaps our pattern is to figure everything out in our heads.  Perhaps we are in a constant competition with ourselves, setting the bar higher and higher, trying to ‘best’ ourselves.   Perhaps we question everything and focus on why something could never work.  Perhaps we focus our attention on others, and look for ways that we can be helpful.  These are just a few strategies that different egoic structures use.  If the patterns are not brought into clear awareness and not interrupted, the cost is high.  We feel lost, disconnected, and alone.

Regardless of where we move to, or what job or position we take, or who we marry or divorce, or what new skils we learn, or how much money we earn, the automatic activity of the ego and all of its suffering and problems  do go with us—-until we see it  all for what it is.

Many of my students and clients who are in transition in their lives have come to recognize this truth.  “If I continue these particular behaviors, emotional patterns and ideas about myself (and that are associated with my Enneagram type),  I will just take them to my next position/to my next relationship/to the rest of my life.”   Nothing of real significance will have changed.

Of course, what we also take with us who our True Nature.  And, truly, it is right here, right now.  As the patterns of my type relax, the more I come into contact with my realness, my ‘hereness,’ my  innate aliveness, and my inherent sense of belonging,  Now, to take THIS with you is no small thing.  This is worth being Here.

My classes, workshops, and retreats are all designed to ORIENT YOU TO YOUR TRUE NATURE.  Here are my current offerings:  www.lifewisecoaching.com.

Roxanne

I’ve been getting a lot of questions around relationships lately.This was particularly apparently last week when I was teaching an introductory Enneagram course.  Consistently, the conversation turned to the issue of understanding other people.  Big surprise!!  When we are first exposed to the Enneagram, many of our ideas or questions about why other people do what they do are challenged.

One person asked,   “But WHY would someone not express an opinion on something (such as, “What shall we go tonight for dinner?”), then be upset when I made a decision?  Isn’t that counter-productive?  Why don’t we just talk?”

Another person shared, “I always thought that I was being so nice, and I could never figure out why some of my friends inched their way out of my life! I thought that they were simply taking advantage of me and being ungrateful.”

Another person mentioned, “I’m often not in sync with my friends and have wondered why. Now I’m starting to get some answers.”

It is SO difficult to see, acknowledge and then, understand another person’s worldview when we are standing in the midst of our own worldview!  Afterall, ours makes so much sense!

One of the big take-aways that some students shared is that the reasons that they had previously ascribed  to the behaviors of others turned out not to be true at all.  Rather, the behaviors were based on an entirely different Enneagram blueprint!!  Ah, now we can see how easily judgment around others arises!  Most students noticed that their misperceptions added to their stress level.

The Enneagram gives us real access into the inner world of other people, based upon their particular Enneagram worldviews/types.  When we understand the structure of our own inner world, we can begin to recognize that, just as our own behaviors seem perfectly reasonable to us, that the behaviors of others makes perfect sense to them.

This is where true humility comes in.  For example, when I interact with any person from only my own perspective, my own type’s biases, I am not capable of truly relating at all.  I just want to see that person reflecting back to me what I think is important, what makes sense to me  from my limited perspective.

If I can loosen my grip on my own perspective/inner world and even have some curiosity about how the other person is experiencing the situation, then it may be possible to actually relate.

That’s one of the reasons that I love the Enneagram.   When we can truly recognize that there are nine wildly different cultures based on the Enneagram, perhaps we will rise to the call to create more understanding and kindness in the world.

This is the basis for true multi-cultural relationships!

Blessings,

Roxanne